Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize