you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
