at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
