don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
