just come out here and I will go home with you...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
