i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
