so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So apparently I’m into choking now
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