no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
