i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
