I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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