i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
