so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask