Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.

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  (321): We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story. http://tfl.nu/mc4k
  Replies (29) Good night (1235) Bad night (3648)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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  (541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes http://tfl.nu/g6v6
  Replies (19) Good night (743) Bad night (3665)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.

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  (806): This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night. http://tfl.nu/k0hc
  Replies (15) Good night (711) Bad night (3147)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  (915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj
  Replies (54) Good night (74150) Bad night (2705)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco

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  (847): Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco http://tfl.nu/zw9u
  Replies (18) Good night (3278) Bad night (1578)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

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  (585): He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going. http://tfl.nu/c63w
  Replies (7) Good night (1662) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Valid question

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  (440): At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex." (216): Valid question http://tfl.nu/clyn
  Replies (6) Good night (1662) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.

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  (570): Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM. http://tfl.nu/zh91
  Replies (0) Good night (559) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"

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  (917): Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there" http://tfl.nu/jagl
  Replies (1) Good night (1077) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex

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  (336): I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex http://tfl.nu/wqyf
  Replies (1) Good night (911) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.

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  (661): Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back. http://tfl.nu/53qo
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.

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  (915): No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head. http://tfl.nu/p2wc
  Replies (2) Good night (419) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"

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  (281): I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop" http://tfl.nu/oaao
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (188)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My cast smells like cheese steak rolls

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  (267): My cast smells like cheese steak rolls http://tfl.nu/yq13
  Replies (1) Good night (153) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.

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  (940): This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why. http://tfl.nu/8o96
  Replies (5) Good night (174) Bad night (343)

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