I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize