i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
