I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
