Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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