I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
