can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
