windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
