so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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