Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
