We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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