Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
