Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
