she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
