we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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