All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
