Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Randomize
