i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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