He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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