Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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