I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize