I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You took a bar mat shot.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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