Need sex. Gaining weight.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
