It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize