bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
