Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize