if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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