xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
