Are we in a gay sports bar?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
