So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
