This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
