I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
