i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Randomize
