The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize