Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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