'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
