weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
smell my finger.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
