How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You need Xanax blowdarts
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
