her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
