Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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