I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
