Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
