i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
