singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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