I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
