I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
