pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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