I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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