I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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