she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
