girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
