i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
